This post is a retrospective on 4/30.
hours of sleep
7.4
poi (points of interest)
- was feeling unmotivated and wondered what was going on and remembered that the night before, I had drank AND didn’t really adhere to any of my habits lol so, it makes sense.
- the disparity between things that should get done, and things i can will myself to can feel so wide
- therapy thoughts: relationships are always a work in progress. it’s part of the process. assuming one can fix a relationship for good is to believe in a false promise.
- therapy thoughts pt. 2: you’ll never fully conquer your natural blind spots. but much like a blind spot, over time you will gather the sixth sense that something may approach that blind spot, and having the awareness to know when it passes.
song stuck in my head
can’t remember
gratitude
- i remembered thinking how happy i’d be once we were done with closing because it would alleviate the low hum of anxiety
- having a clean home. it’s a nice blank slate before the chaos of our move hits.
reminders
- needed to get some things together for monday
- outback is on its way to carmax
- set up utils
food log
morning:
- coffee
- vitamins and supplements
- protein shake (pea + whey)
lunch:
- steak and rice
afternoon:
evening
- bang cookies 🤤
- mixed rice, chicken, spinach
habit tracking
- drink 80oz water
- read
- protein
- vitamins & supplements
- meditate
- training and/or mobility (link to log)
comments
- after going in mon - thur, on thur night i just break out of my disciplined shell lol, sort of like a cheat day, but for habits/discipline.. not always, necessarily in a food way. not sure what that is. however, i do acknowledge that it perpetuates a cycle of mon-thur is structured, balanced, disciplined, then fri and sat are like free-for-alls. finally, on sunday, i’ll come out of that hole readying myself for Monday.
- this might be pretty normal, but i still feel guilty about it? it’s the weekend for a reason lol but i can’t shake the feeling that this cycle is not the best but i don’t know where that judgment comes from 🤔